One of the things I hoped to bring to our little community here is background. Odd word choice right? Background? When I started making candles back in 2016 it was something that just kind of happened. I was very blessed to be shown hands on by a friend and then from there research and make it my own to uncover what really works best for me, and for the candles I intended to make. If you know me personally - I do nothing slow. All my life I've been moving. From one State to the next. From one project to the next. I've moved away from stress just to get caught back in it. What's funny about this and why I share it with you all here, is that candle making is anything but movement. It's stillness and patience in fact. While the candle I've chosen for today's share was NOT apart of the original collection we opened this brand with, Life Moments Candle Co. It is one of the most heartfelt candles we create. So enjoy, this is Survivor.
I was just 17 when my mother was diagnosed with cancer. Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma which in short is cancer that attacks the lymphatic system. My mother's however was aggressive, and while we didn't know this right away, cancer made it very much known that it was here to fight - soon attacking my mother's bones and eventually her brain resulting in a tumor that would later leave her in a coma making her feel so far away even though her physical body was still with us. Many of us have been touched by cancer in some way, many of us in fact have been touched by some sort of trauma...some way, some how and while I don't claim to know the reason behind all of this what I do personally believe now, and as a result of many years gone by since my mother's death in 2008 is that we as humans must come to know what's both light and dark. Meaning. The good times cannot exist without the bad and while we never wish bad onto anyone, bad things just sometimes happen and it's the good still left in us that reminds us to continue on. At just 17 and soon 18 years old about to head off to start a new chapter of my life in the U.S Army I watched my mom fight for her life until the day came that she simply didn't want to do it anymore. I quickly understood that this was not cowardliness but courage. I watched my mom live past even in a short amount of time the life expectancy the doctors stated...truly defying the odds. And I knew it was by her sheer willpower to finish out life the way she wanted even if it wasn't the way she intended. My mother, who's name is Ann by the way had a love for horses that I share. I remember her determined as all get out to walk herself down to our barn which sat nestled in our backyard but almost so close to the house you could touch it, and yet cancer made the journey feel miles long. I remember her making it to the pasture, going out into each of the pens and greeting each horse we had on the property and not a hoof or hair was out of place. These massive, thousand pound animals knew that their caretaker was not long for this world and I remember as I snapped photos here and there...the tears that rolled down my face as I realized she was saying goodbye.
And that would be the very last visit she'd make to the barn, to our horses in this life time.
What I didn't realize soon after my mother's passing was that all of this. Her life. Her fight with cancer and later her death - would be a blessing. I won't press you to think I don't struggle. I do - daily in fact! I am the only daughter, I sadly do not have a close connection with my father anymore, something in him broke after almost 20 something years of marriage. And now as I find myself a mother to two young boys and having gone through chapters upon chapters of life changes - I miss her. I perhaps miss her more today then I did in the moments just after she passed.
Survivor isn't just what my mother is to me. Survivor is me.
In fact Survivor is YOU.
And before you hush yourself or push down your own problems claiming they are immeasurable to mine, I say stop. Pain unlike what our doctors tell us, at least on an emotional level is immeasurable. My loss is no greater than yours. Your pain is no greater than mine. To sum it up, it all sucks from time to time right?
But this candle, as silly as it may sounds is that bit of encouragement we need when we simply just don't want to keep going. Scented Lily of the Valley (a soft floral) along with mixed berries for some sweetness and vanilla for comfort and familiarity it's the perfect blend of knowing just how lucky we are to live at all. To have a life we can call our own. Survivor is for anyone. Like many of our candles it is more than just something pleasant to have in your home. It's a sentiment that you did what you could or are doing what you can. Survivors don't always live on in this physical world but live on in our hearts to encourage us to be better than we were yesterday.
Until next time, that's this candles story. Thank you for listening.
Our Survivor candle can be purchased online or in store March - July. We also do a small batch in November for Breast Cancer Awareness.